Me, myself and Anu

On days that V is asleep when I leave, it is easy to pick Aapice..
On days that he is awake, looks at me sleepy eyed, yawns and gives a half smile (well if it is any smile, it is different) a smile that melts my heart, hands that call out to me to be held and eyes that haunt me every sec..it is Home 100%!

On days that I have success working on a project and feel useful, it is Aapice;
On days that V tries and struggles to achieve milestones like successfully biting into my face, slobbering kisses on my cheek, crawling to come to me hearing my voice, scrambling all over K trying to stand, successfully opening every door, pulling every wire, trashing every toy, eating EVERYTHING in sight, it is Home again :)

On days I get my paycheck, it is Aapice of course;
On days I begin to wonder if I would trade all my money for time with V, it is home most definitely!

On days I am respected for who I am and what I contribute to, it could be Aapice;
But on days that V hugs me with his tiny hands, rests his adorable head on my chest/shoulder and looks at me with his questioning eyes..everything goes out the door to be at Home.

On days that I think of this blasted economy, it is Aapice with thanks to God; But then again on days that I think of the hundreds of childless couples..I think if I am doing the right thing after all ?!

It is everyday that I am thankful for what I have; don't get me wrong, but unfortunately it does little to ease the pain and torture of seperation from this little someone who owns my time and my life now. I hope someday it is all worth it!

Late Friday nights and later Saturday mornings are things I treasured and have now become things of the past. It has been nine months and 18 days since V was born and I am yet to have one night of sleep, let alone one night...I am yet to have four hours straight sleep...sigh! For someone who just cannot give up sleep, I myself don't know how I am surviving. I read recently that being sleep deprived makes you forget that you are sleep deprived, I think that is what has happened to me. This kid just does not sleep and does just fine. I wish I did the same :(

I don't mind that he wakes up during the night, I get to look at that face one more time, I get to admire those lips and those tiny hands and legs and feel that soft skin and that pleasant breath against my face. (BTW he does not smell at all for someone who did not brush their teeth or gums for the first seven months of his life!) I don't have the heart to let him be, after all like someone very close to me said "If you think about it, they are children only once!". How true, I cannot get back the first eight months of his life no matter what. What the heck, I can't get yesterday back :)

So I think the only way for me to survive as he grows is to teach him that on weekends Daddy is the one who should be woken up first - ALWAYS!!

If you have not already tried it, you should try the Aveeno bodywash for babies. If you don't have a baby, well then try it on yourself! V smells so wonderful after I have ditched johnson and johnson for this. It actually reminds me of the sambangi flower frangrance in India. So subtle yet so divine.

Ever since we booked our tickets to PHX I have been apprehensive about how Mr.V was going to handle the flight. The first and only time he flew was when we moved from Nashville and at that time he wailed quite loud and we had to ahem..give him a little something. He has grown much more, his voice has gotten much louder and as a result his amma had gotten more concerned :)

We took him to a friend's for lunch a week ago and we had not as much stepped into their house when he screamed his lungs out. The poor lady had only said "Hi Vrushab" to be met with this response :( With no success, an unhappy mommy brought him home and ate a leftover burrito. Needless to say my apprehension nearly tripled and I spent a sleepless week.

But when the D day arrived, he took us by surprise and how! This kid actually liked to fly and enjoyed his time. He was calling out to every passenger and actually making sounds of glee. Though sometimes he screeched like a cat I thought. He spent a good 10 minutes looking out of the window at all the lights when we landed, this kid does not fail to surprise me I can tell you that much. The horrid take offs and landings did not bother him at all, and he did not bat an eyelid. The only thing that did not change from home to car to flight was his total reluctance to focus on more than one thing for say more than 30 secs...sigh! I really wish sometimes he had short term memory loss so I could show him the same thing over and over. And as for my love of watching movies, especially Karan Johar ones, for now they go out the door unless something really changes and Bollywood decides 1 min movies are the way to go..ha.