Showing posts with label Playing Dr. Phil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Playing Dr. Phil. Show all posts

Passion

Author: Anu Karthik / Labels: ,

March 1st 2010

I have already written about this emotion earlier. But this post is focused on a different meaning of passion. It is focused on 'a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything'. I talk about the passion that Rancho lives by in the movie '3 idiots'. 

After V, watching movies is a luxury and we allowed ourselves that when we watched 3 movies back to back on 3 nights a couple of weekends ago in the wee hours of the morning as he slept. The only noteworthy one was this . A totally feel good movie that made me want some more. I fell in love despite trying not to with Rancho and his passion and zeal for what he did. I could empathize with the characters of Raju and Farhan because much as we would all like to be Ranchos the reality is that we live in the shoes of Raju and Farhan with a dash of Rancho if we are lucky :P And that is where this  post is headed.

If we really think about where we are in our careers and in our lives in general, it would be a place reached with a path taken that was based on a lot of planning, analysis and practicality. The trick is in understanding how much of an ingredient 'passion' was in that mix. If it was not, then have you learnt to be passionate about what you have ended up with? If the answer to both part a) and b) is a clear NO then I am willing to bet that you are unhappy many times and are constantly searching for ways to enrich your life. Do I sound a bit like Dr. Phil, believe me I am not trying to.

At one of the workshops at work, I came across this session I took where they asked us to take the Passion Test. It involved writing down things that you are passionate about and would do in an ideal situation and things you are doing with your current life or situation. And wonder of wonders those who were happy were those who were doing what they were passionate about at least to some extent.  If you end up with 2 different lists totally and there is no mesh between what you would ideally be doing and what you are doing everyday, how can you be happy?


In another instance, in a career development workshop, there was a discussion about how trying to be in a place where your talents, passions and work match is key to a person being successful in his/her job. Same deal, there too.



And I sat there thinking..how come no one ever taught this day 1 in school or in college even for that matter. Well, if your passion is to be a snake charmer then that might need some revisiting, but even then you could try to pursue it as a hobby, right?


Anyway, in my own personal experience I have found that I work well when I do things I am passionate about.  Even if I have to do something I don't like, I try to offset it by doing other things that I care about. So end result is that one is still happy.


Life is too short to waste, so go on and discover your passions and try to make it happen.

5 comments

Straddling the fence

Author: Anu Karthik / Labels: ,

Nov 12th 2009

This post is the result of being on one side of the fence, i.e. playing the role of a mother who works outside the house too. And of course from attending some work-life balance seminars and reading too much stuff on the net. Before I had my child I always thought that I would stay at home with my children and never work. I have valued my mother staying at home for us, though she had an MBA and I think we are what we are today to a large extent because of that. But it was not to be, due to various circumstances of course but also because of my own acceptance of the situation. Of that I have no doubt whatsoever. Today I have made peace with where I am, however I constantly think about if I would be happier any other way and also how I can make the best of what I have.

Of course I would be happier if I had more time with V, of that I have no doubt. But I also realize that I probably would not very happy if I were to only do that all the time. And not because I would feel that I am not doing justice to my degree or feel less respected but more because it is quite challenging and lonely to be with a child 24/7 and not have any other adult interaction. I would be perfectly happy being a stay at home mom if I could also have some time for my other adult interests but that is not to be when you have a child to care of, and I cannot even think of daycare or getting someone else to watch him when I would be at home. This is where the caregiver is vital for the mother’s peace of mind. When you find someone you would trust your child with, it enables you to smile a little bit more often. For me an ideal situation would be part time work where I would have more time with V and just some time to be the person who is not just his mother. This is what I feel today, who knows what will happen when the sun dawns tomorrow J

The challenge I see for a mother who works outside the house is mainly setting up some priorities out of which some have to take a backseat. Spending quality time with the child should be priority #1 for both your ‘quality’ of life. It is about making every moment spent with your child a ‘kodak’ moment. Planning and to-do lists are vital in my opinion. Sleep is a luxury and cannot be taken for granted. Some days are going to be crazy and sometimes the laundry will wait an extra day to get done but it is doable. Frankly I think the current cost of living makes a dual income more a necessity than a luxury. I am not denying that people don’t live on one income and don’t raise kids successfully, again it is a choice but one that would definitely not have been easy to make and one that would involve some sacrifices. Daycare does not work for all, and finding a good nanny is not a cheap option either. But next to family the relationship with the childcare provider is key to a mom being able to work. Another huge one is flexibility at the work place, if that is not doable then at least I would quit. Last but not the least is the role the spouse plays, being the mother sometimes and stepping up to the responsibility they share when they bring their child to this world.

The challenges in my opinion are larger for a mom who stays at home. In her own mind, she may struggle with self worth and value. Staying at home moms are not looked at fondly when they send their children to daycare part-time, or if they hire a maid are they L After all, they may like to have a life outside of caring for their child. Added to child rearing they also take on the role of a ‘housewife’, which means cooking, cleaning and everything else that is associated with running a home. Not an easy task. Where does this leave time for a life outside of the home? I would think it might lead to frustration. Again it depend on if this was a choice or a forced circumstance. Needless to say Mr. Spouse can make or break this situation too J

Bottom line whether you choose to work or stay at home, it should be a choice that you make voluntarily and one that you should change to suit your needs as time and situation demand. I think we are the person we are and each one is unique, so there can never be a right or wrong answer. But unless you think and ask yourself if you are truly happy you never will know!

P.S. The title of this post was picked because I do straddle the fence and support both sides of this issue, leaning however more to one side at this point.

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