Whatz the hurry?

Author: Anu Karthik / Labels: ,

Feb 9th 2010

We all live in a world where it is truly survival of the fittest. That does not necessarily mean that the ones who are not the fittest don't survive, but conventional wisdom has shown that the one more prepared does much better than the unprepared. Add on to this mix, a sense of wanting to achieve, excel in everything we take on and you are left with a generation that is constantly running, period.

And this feeling is not any different in mommyland or for new parents. Many parents like me are still trying to cope with the constant discussion surrounding what milestone the child has currently achieved and what you should be doing to ensure that he/she is on the path to excellence. It does not matter that the kid is barely 2 feet tall, can just about walk on its own and still pooping in diapers. It actually started the day he/she is born.

From friendly inquiries to "Has she started smiling yet?", to "Usually at this month they do this and that" to advice that asks to be accepted "By this age I used to give my son finger foods and he did just FINE with them!", "Are u still breast feeding, shouldn't you stop by now otherwise it will be very difficult and they will cling on to you!", "He STILL wakes up in the night? (utter disbelief and clear contempt for me as a mother that I still allow it)", to just plain old peer pressure "Is he talking yet, my daughter was babbling by this time! ", "You don't make his food daily? I always prepared the meals fresh, I am not one of those who give their kids peanut butter and jelly every day! ". 

If you are naive enough and listen to this, you will end up losing out on a very very important milestone in your and your child's life, that of living in the moment. What is the hurry for him/her to do things, once he starts to walk, he is never going to crawl again is he? Once those teeth start to show, can u ever bring back that toothless smile (OK, the bad one when you lose the front teeth at age 6-7, doesn't count!)? Once your child grows, he is not going to wake up in the night and want to nuzzle. He will want to sleep in his own bed and do his own thing and one day he is going to say " Amma, stop! Can I please do it on my own?" [I will be thankful if he says please in the first place]. 

Don't shed tears that day, instead if you have spent your time now living in the moment and enjoying what they have to offer everyday, you will be proud to see him/her move on. So hit the snooze on the clock that is constantly ticking and hug that little bundle a bit tighter. Read an extra story and break another toy.  Listen to that babble one more time and don't correct. Pick that lazy butt and go on a walk or stroll in the park and see the world through those teeny eyes, you will be amazed by how much you have been missing. Tell me really, how many times have you been amazed by a bug on the fence or a piece of paper that flies or a steetlight, you will be now!

And for those who don't have kids yet, remember this when you are scrambling to fit work, home, family and what remains of a life into the waking 18 or 19 hrs!

P.S.-1 No comment or quote in this post is made up, they are based on the author's observations and experiences :P

P.S.-2 This is no way means V gets to be an artist or a rock bander or a high school dropout. He will do what he has to, but to the best of his ability, not to his neighbor's or classmate's!


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First 3miler for me

Author: Anu Karthik / Labels: ,

Feb 3rd 2010

Laugh if you must, but it is an achievement for me. I was never a runner, both because I never tried and also because I was never athletically built for starters. Sports in school has always been limited to the P.T. class (Physical training). I was good at Kho-Kho however, though K who was (almost) a state-level player scoffs at me everytime I say that. Whatever :P. {Remember Koundamani and Senthil when they say you are 1oth fail but I am 8th std pass?}

Memories of sport for me include kho-kho at school and also requesting to be a substitute for volleyball so I could go to school level zonals competition. A day of missed classes was so much fun and looked forward to at that time. And if you might include the badminton that we played with our gate as the net, ahem. It worked at that time. My dad surrounded by females (we are 2 sisters) and my mother, gave up that there was no way any of us were going to share or even be able to understand his passion for cricket. All in all, you get the picture.

Graduate school opened new doors for me when it came to what all I was missing in trying out new activities and honing my few skills. I pursued everything I could with almost a vengeance. I enjoyed it, those are some of the best years of my life on a personal development level. I got more active and loved the benefits it brought, but I never did run much even then.

So when on Monday I ran my first 3m just because I got it into my head, I felt exhilarated. With Villu songs and Kovai Sarala's voice ringing in my ears, and 40F weather, I ran some, barely moved some but did it. It was a very proud moment in my life :D 

Here's to more runs hopefully! Maybe I shouldn't say that because V already makes me run around quite a bit.


P.S. For runners/walkers - I love this site..it lets you map the distance you want to take on- http://www.mapmyrun.com/


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Tonsure

Author: Anu Karthik / Labels: , ,

Jan 29th 2010
Most people who belong to my community have the custom of tonsuring their child's head and offering the hair to a lord of their choice. This is done usually in the 1st or 3rd year of the child's life. Some offer it to their family deity and some offer to Lord Balaji of Thirupathi and many offer it to more than one diety, tonsuring multiple times. 
I think it is fair to say that I belong to a generation that questions old beliefs and superstitions and practices that our older generation does not have the explanation for. However I don't question the belief or practice that I am asked to follow, but often times I have searched for an explanation or a meaning. If something has been followed for eons, there most likely will be a reason is my belief. The trick lies in understanding, accepting and striking a balance if some of those beliefs or practices apply to  our lives today.
We tonsured my son's head and offered his hair to our family deity. While I never objected to doing it and agreed readily, actually seeing him cry throughout the whole process broke my heart. His dad and I are both softies where the most we have allowed him to cry has been a minute at max. So seeing him bawl and forcibly taking his hair off for a purpose he did not yet comprehend was a little unsettling for me. And when you see your child in a way stripped off his beauty, it takes some adjusting to do. 
My understanding before going into this process was just this - Hair is an adornment that beautifies your persona. One that God bestows on you. By offering it to him, you submit yourself to the almighty in all humility and as always submit for him to take control of you and your life. The part that I was finding hard striking a balance was forcing a child to do it when he had no such understanding or reasoning. But the other angle to this is that it is a lesson in humility for the parents too, because when you see your child without his hair (beauty), you again remind yourself that you had no doing in this creation. It is he that made and to him it all belongs.
For something that is such an age old practice, surprisingly there was very less on the net. The following are some links I found relevant to what I was looking for. Some affirm my belief, some provide the reason as conversion and also some others deem it as inauspicious to shave the entire head (as it done only when the father dies).  I think I like my understanding best :)

If you have any other light to spill, please leave a comment and let me know.
Trivia: While looking for answers, I found this info online. One belief is to not do the tonsuring when someone else in the family is pregnant.  This was followed in the past because the whole family would go to a different village to do the tonsure leaving behind the pregnant woman which was not advisable. However, in today's world it does not necessarily hold true, correct? So an instance of where you need to take some things with a grain of salt!

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