Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Single Parenting

Author: Anu Karthik / Labels: , ,

April 29th 2010

As someone who has had a mother who stayed at home and a dad who worked almost round the clock but mostly from our home, I have never been alone all my life. I have not known what it is to come to a home where hot tiffin is not ready. I have not experienced what it is to have only one parent or have someone you value very much living away from you for any period of time. 

With K being away due to work for the first time for a week, I am a single parent to Mr. V. What was meant to be a couple of days ended up being a WHOLE 5 days. I know it is not that long but try pausing on the 55555555 and maybe it will seem like. And while it has not been physically taxing, emotionally it has been extremely painful to say the least. It is not something I want to do anytime again.

And while I prod along waiting for him to arrive tomorrow, I have been thinking this whole week of all the single parents in this world who have so become either by choice or because of a lack of one. I have been thinking of the strength and endurance they must have to not only earn a living but to also hold the family together with no emotional support that you so unconditionally get from a good spouse. And worse still I think of the people who have had to lose someone they love and worse a child who has lost his parent and how the family would deal with that. The thought is unbearable for me, I pray for those who live that reality.

And I continue to learn lessons in humility and be in awe of the supreme and say my prayers with more fervency. And also be more thankful for what I have today and that K continues to not mind taking the trash out. 





P.S. This week's trash waits for him too.

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To Amma & Appa with love

Author: Anu Karthik / Labels: , ,

Becoming a parent has certainly changed me, for the better I would like to think. However, not everyone around me would agree I am positive. One thing for sure that it did is make me value some things more in my life that I certainly took for granted before. We are the persons we are because of everything around us and what we absorb and I am the parent I am because of how my parents were. If one thing, becoming a parent has certainly made me closer to them and I value their presence in my life all the more.

The day V went to daycare, everyday as I sit at work watching the clock tick I understand how my parents must have felt when they left me in Pilani, after having their children as their sole focus all 18 years I was with them. Their tear stained faces and pained glances gain more meaning as I wait to be with my son and suffer every minute I am apart.

The calls everyday from India and my irritation at some of those times that I cannot take back; now make we wonder how they must have craved to hear my voice. Even after having my son with me by my side I cannot just have enough, how can I think that they will proceed with life when they let me go so many miles away?

I now understand the challenge it must have been for my mother to make an **interesting tiffin** (in my words) every single day I came home from school. When asked what I would like for lunch/dinner, many a times I have responded that "It is boring amma, same thing". Now when I have to prepare meals for my family, I expect to be appreciated even if I serve the same dish once in 2 weeks, and mind you I don't even make tiffin, it is only 3 meals a day :P I want to kiss her hands and massage the feet that stood in the kitchen taking care of us day after day as I grew up ignorant and oblivious to her effort.

Today I can relate to the passion with which my father would watch our every move. I can relate to his desire to provide the best and nothing but that for his children. I hope to have his energy when he used to come and coach me with lessons after spending more than 18 hrs a day seeing his patients. Gone is the annoyance I felt that he read my personal letters that I wrote in school, gone is the anger when he disciplined me. I understand today that it comes with being a good parent. When he hugs me tight today I understand what he feels because I feel the same when I hug my son.

By no means does this post idolize only my parents. It is a salute to all those who strive to live their life with the children as their driving force. Much as a child gives, it takes from you to be a parent. And to be a good one, a kind that will allow you to go to sleep with a smile on your face is no easy task. It does become a way of life and requires no effort when you start to live, eat and breathe your child in everything you do.

As King Khan rightly said "Having a child is like taking a part of your soul and putting it in another body and allowing it walk in front of you. The child is part of you, is you".

P.S. I will work on the maintaing a distance part when V is old enough to be a teenager, right now I am just reveling in this feeling.

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