- Losing their night’s sleep for what seems like forever and still continuing to smile and love the *being* that causes it J
- Reading the same story for the nth time with the exact same intonations and still feeling joy every time it is read if only to see that smile and the eyes light up!
- Giving up taking strategic projects and influential roles just so she can come home to focus on her child learning his colors and abcs.
- Not knowing which date/day of the week it is because her measure of morning and night are by the teeth brushed, the mouth fed and the snuggles felt.
- Only a parent can understand that *color TV* literally means coloring the TV for some and take pride in the fact that their child can think cognitively.
- Shopping now means buying diapers, toys, puzzles and clothes always for someone else.
- Going through every hour of every day imagining the joy in picking up their child from childcare, searching for eye contact, in spotting that little head bobbing amongst the many others in the playground.
- Anything that does not get done in the 1 hr nap time that her child takes can wait.
- Joy and Sorrow take new meaning now because they are experienced through another being, in his/her smiles or tears. Being a mom is allowing a part of you to walk out of you.
- Feeling more pride in the fact that her child is potty trained than in the fact that she helps Moore's law become a reality or that Obama is visiting her workplace.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Jan 23rd 2010
Thatha, I miss you. It has been over two years that you are no more, but I think of you still as often. Sometimes I can't believe you are no more. Staying so far away I never saw at the end you and so have never found closure. I always have images of you alive and I am happy in a way to have you such in my memory.
For someone who has a very poor memory of her childhood, I have very distinct memories of my times with you. I remember you as a strict grandfather who chose to dote on his granddaughters in secret. I look back in awe how you traced out the abcs in beautiful cursive in the three ruled notebook and had me write over it. I owe my good handwriting to you. I remember our times at the temple every evening when you went to chant your vishnu sahasranamam, the time I lost my silver anklet while playing in the garden and you hid it after finding it and made me search in utter fear for a whole hour before giving it to me. I think back with fond memories how you took us to appu ghar when we visited you, bought me a ball and a doll in delhi not knowing hindi. I remember that we took dance and then singing because you wanted us to. It is a different story I excelled in neither at that time.
Thatha, I remember with tears when you got the stroke and appa rushed to see you. Seeing you paralyzed was a shock as you have been more active than anyone I know. More than anything I think it killed you and appa that you lost your independence and freedom. It burns a little to think how you spent all those years just lying sometimes staring into space. That sharp mind of yours wasted. I remember hugging you and feeling you suddenly like a child next to me. Thatha, I miss you so much!
When I found out I was expecting Vrushab, next to sharing the news with Karthik and of course appa amma and anitha, I longed to tell you! I regret you never got to see him, to hold him in your arms, to have him feel your stubble, run his baby fingers on your bald head. He would have pulled your glasses surely, I know! I cry sometimes because I was never able to see the pride in your eyes, hear your laughter as I relate his antics to you. You must be watching him from above right? He reminds me of you in more ways than you know and I think of you so much more.
I envy all the people I know who have their grandparents alive. But I am at peace for not all know a grandfather like you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
