Feb 9th 2010
We all live in a world where it is truly survival of the fittest. That does not necessarily mean that the ones who are not the fittest don't survive, but conventional wisdom has shown that the one more prepared does much better than the unprepared. Add on to this mix, a sense of wanting to achieve, excel in everything we take on and you are left with a generation that is constantly running, period.
And this feeling is not any different in mommyland or for new parents. Many parents like me are still trying to cope with the constant discussion surrounding what milestone the child has currently achieved and what you should be doing to ensure that he/she is on the path to excellence. It does not matter that the kid is barely 2 feet tall, can just about walk on its own and still pooping in diapers. It actually started the day he/she is born.
From friendly inquiries to "Has she started smiling yet?", to "Usually at this month they do this and that" to advice that asks to be accepted "By this age I used to give my son finger foods and he did just FINE with them!", "Are u still breast feeding, shouldn't you stop by now otherwise it will be very difficult and they will cling on to you!", "He STILL wakes up in the night? (utter disbelief and clear contempt for me as a mother that I still allow it)", to just plain old peer pressure "Is he talking yet, my daughter was babbling by this time! ", "You don't make his food daily? I always prepared the meals fresh, I am not one of those who give their kids peanut butter and jelly every day! ".
If you are naive enough and listen to this, you will end up losing out on a very very important milestone in your and your child's life, that of living in the moment. What is the hurry for him/her to do things, once he starts to walk, he is never going to crawl again is he? Once those teeth start to show, can u ever bring back that toothless smile (OK, the bad one when you lose the front teeth at age 6-7, doesn't count!)? Once your child grows, he is not going to wake up in the night and want to nuzzle. He will want to sleep in his own bed and do his own thing and one day he is going to say " Amma, stop! Can I please do it on my own?" [I will be thankful if he says please in the first place].
Don't shed tears that day, instead if you have spent your time now living in the moment and enjoying what they have to offer everyday, you will be proud to see him/her move on. So hit the snooze on the clock that is constantly ticking and hug that little bundle a bit tighter. Read an extra story and break another toy. Listen to that babble one more time and don't correct. Pick that lazy butt and go on a walk or stroll in the park and see the world through those teeny eyes, you will be amazed by how much you have been missing. Tell me really, how many times have you been amazed by a bug on the fence or a piece of paper that flies or a steetlight, you will be now!
And for those who don't have kids yet, remember this when you are scrambling to fit work, home, family and what remains of a life into the waking 18 or 19 hrs!
P.S.-1 No comment or quote in this post is made up, they are based on the author's observations and experiences :P
P.S.-2 This is no way means V gets to be an artist or a rock bander or a high school dropout. He will do what he has to, but to the best of his ability, not to his neighbor's or classmate's!
