The day V went to daycare, everyday as I sit at work watching the clock tick I understand how my parents must have felt when they left me in Pilani, after having their children as their sole focus all 18 years I was with them. Their tear stained faces and pained glances gain more meaning as I wait to be with my son and suffer every minute I am apart.
The calls everyday from India and my irritation at some of those times that I cannot take back; now make we wonder how they must have craved to hear my voice. Even after having my son with me by my side I cannot just have enough, how can I think that they will proceed with life when they let me go so many miles away?
I now understand the challenge it must have been for my mother to make an **interesting tiffin** (in my words) every single day I came home from school. When asked what I would like for lunch/dinner, many a times I have responded that "It is boring amma, same thing". Now when I have to prepare meals for my family, I expect to be appreciated even if I serve the same dish once in 2 weeks, and mind you I don't even make tiffin, it is only 3 meals a day :P I want to kiss her hands and massage the feet that stood in the kitchen taking care of us day after day as I grew up ignorant and oblivious to her effort.
Today I can relate to the passion with which my father would watch our every move. I can relate to his desire to provide the best and nothing but that for his children. I hope to have his energy when he used to come and coach me with lessons after spending more than 18 hrs a day seeing his patients. Gone is the annoyance I felt that he read my personal letters that I wrote in school, gone is the anger when he disciplined me. I understand today that it comes with being a good parent. When he hugs me tight today I understand what he feels because I feel the same when I hug my son.
By no means does this post idolize only my parents. It is a salute to all those who strive to live their life with the children as their driving force. Much as a child gives, it takes from you to be a parent. And to be a good one, a kind that will allow you to go to sleep with a smile on your face is no easy task. It does become a way of life and requires no effort when you start to live, eat and breathe your child in everything you do.
As King Khan rightly said "Having a child is like taking a part of your soul and putting it in another body and allowing it walk in front of you. The child is part of you, is you".
P.S. I will work on the maintaing a distance part when V is old enough to be a teenager, right now I am just reveling in this feeling.
3 comments:
This one is very insightful.. For the past few months my call to India brightens my day... and its amusing how my parents are more tech-savvy than me. I think its a circle.. but u really do put it well!!!
nice. especially the part about calls from India. Im also living in US n it is so hard to be without mum's food.
@ meera: my dad beats me hands down in tech savvyness. It sure is a cirlce, what you give onto your child..hopefully it gives to its own.
@ karthik: thanks! i miss their presence and the proximity the most.
Post a Comment