To Amma & Appa with love

Author: Anu Karthik / Labels: , ,

Becoming a parent has certainly changed me, for the better I would like to think. However, not everyone around me would agree I am positive. One thing for sure that it did is make me value some things more in my life that I certainly took for granted before. We are the persons we are because of everything around us and what we absorb and I am the parent I am because of how my parents were. If one thing, becoming a parent has certainly made me closer to them and I value their presence in my life all the more.

The day V went to daycare, everyday as I sit at work watching the clock tick I understand how my parents must have felt when they left me in Pilani, after having their children as their sole focus all 18 years I was with them. Their tear stained faces and pained glances gain more meaning as I wait to be with my son and suffer every minute I am apart.

The calls everyday from India and my irritation at some of those times that I cannot take back; now make we wonder how they must have craved to hear my voice. Even after having my son with me by my side I cannot just have enough, how can I think that they will proceed with life when they let me go so many miles away?

I now understand the challenge it must have been for my mother to make an **interesting tiffin** (in my words) every single day I came home from school. When asked what I would like for lunch/dinner, many a times I have responded that "It is boring amma, same thing". Now when I have to prepare meals for my family, I expect to be appreciated even if I serve the same dish once in 2 weeks, and mind you I don't even make tiffin, it is only 3 meals a day :P I want to kiss her hands and massage the feet that stood in the kitchen taking care of us day after day as I grew up ignorant and oblivious to her effort.

Today I can relate to the passion with which my father would watch our every move. I can relate to his desire to provide the best and nothing but that for his children. I hope to have his energy when he used to come and coach me with lessons after spending more than 18 hrs a day seeing his patients. Gone is the annoyance I felt that he read my personal letters that I wrote in school, gone is the anger when he disciplined me. I understand today that it comes with being a good parent. When he hugs me tight today I understand what he feels because I feel the same when I hug my son.

By no means does this post idolize only my parents. It is a salute to all those who strive to live their life with the children as their driving force. Much as a child gives, it takes from you to be a parent. And to be a good one, a kind that will allow you to go to sleep with a smile on your face is no easy task. It does become a way of life and requires no effort when you start to live, eat and breathe your child in everything you do.

As King Khan rightly said "Having a child is like taking a part of your soul and putting it in another body and allowing it walk in front of you. The child is part of you, is you".

P.S. I will work on the maintaing a distance part when V is old enough to be a teenager, right now I am just reveling in this feeling.


Meera said...

This one is very insightful.. For the past few months my call to India brightens my day... and its amusing how my parents are more tech-savvy than me. I think its a circle.. but u really do put it well!!!

karthik said...

nice. especially the part about calls from India. Im also living in US n it is so hard to be without mum's food.

Anu Karthik said...

@ meera: my dad beats me hands down in tech savvyness. It sure is a cirlce, what you give onto your child..hopefully it gives to its own.

@ karthik: thanks! i miss their presence and the proximity the most.

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